To be in DC, we had to get to DC. The Shrewsbury Sixth Form crew set off for Heathrow at 7.15 am on Monday the 22nd February. The journey was one rich with anticipation. Arriving at Heathrow, we gathered into groups and began discussing with zeal what the next week had in store. We were expecting around 15 students from the Queen Elizabeth College, Darlington. After a short while, they came towards us. Two young men were wearing top hats.
Liam, an uneasy flier, told us he was satisfied with the absence of 'muslims and babies', so we boarded the plane. I was too excited to sleep, so worked my way around the seats for 8 hours chatting to like-minded revellers. Horrendous food. We struck up a game of poker with our dollars, but were quickly told to stop. Apparently it was 'illegal', although I'm pretty sure we were over international waters.
Touched down in Dulles airport and travelled by coach to the hotel. Coach driver was an enormously fat African American, and thus an instant hit with the young people of the Midlands. We got to the hotel without incident and headed to our rooms ready for an early start. The sleeping arrangements were two to a bed, single sex rooms. Me and Liam found the situation difficult to get used to.
The next day we had the privilege of meeting Bernie Sanders. The most progressive member of Congress, an independent and the only one to call himself a socialist, he was well received by our liberal gaggle of students. We discussed Obama, third parties and most of all - healthcare. Anywhere you go in Washington, and probably America, you will talk about healthcare. After we split from Bernie, we headed to the Old Post Office for lunch then on to the Washington Monument. Quite high up, some nice views. No sign of Washington himself though. Disappointing. Got some snaps outside Barack's crib and headed back to the hotel for a cheeky takeaway/fondle.
Wednesday was a gas. I can't really remember what we did. Bummed round the Capitol [sic] Building. Went to go see Abe, who was chilling out. Recreated the old I Have a Dream speech and that scene out of Forrest Gump.That night we ate in Zorbas, a Greek restaurant. I would sum up both service and food as 'shit'. We were meant to be going back on Thursday, but as college president I demanded on behalf of the students a tastier alternative that didn't give three people food poisoning.
Thursday was an educational day. Saw a debate between the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence and the National Rifle Association. Being the afore mentioned liberal ragamuffins, Glen Caroline of the NRA got more than his fair share of the questions. Although we were surprised to hear that Ladd Everitt of CSGV saw shooting intruders in his home as an acceptable option. Next we saw Hilary Shelton, Director of the Washington Bureau of the NAACP, probably the nicest man I have ever met. Ever. After a spot of lunch we went to the Supreme Court, where I bet someone ten 'bucks' to shout 'Clarence Thomas is a prick'. They bottled it. We nipped over to the House/Senate where we had gallery tickets. Nothing happened, although I did get a young man to wave at me. We were asked to leave soon after. Nice dinner at TGI Friday's.
On Friday we had a talk from the National Abortion Federation. All very lovely, rational and intelligent people apart from one nutter on the end who seemed to love abortion a bit too much. I was suspicious, but decided not to press the matter. We went to the National Museum of American History, where I was essentially forced into role-playing one of the Greensboro sit -in protesters. Some people took it too seriously, and I was on the receiving end of some quite racist abuse directed towards me and my sister (pictured below).
Woolworths got their commupence.
Saturday was a solemn day. We visited the Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, home to the Kennedy graves and Tomb of the Unkown Soldier. I got a bit too into the changing of the guard and began loudly singing The Star Spangled Banner and crying patriotically. Emotions were running high, so we went to Georgetown for some therapy of the retail kind. Bought a few 'threads' and tried out my cute British accent. Scored.
Sunday, what a day. National Holocaust Museum in the morning. Very harrowing. In the afternoon we visited the Potomac Mills shopping mall, affectionately known as a shit hole. Still, bought a few more bits of clothing and ate McDonalds. In the evening we went to the Capital City Brewing Company, where we presented Dave, our beloved teacher and leader, a book on Lenin to rapturous applause. I made a speech that reduced several people to tears.
Monday morning, we visited and heard a speech from the Democratic National Committee (also known as the 'we love Obama whatever he does even if that is nothing' Committee). They got a bit shirty after a few students, myself included, lampooned Obama for running on a much more progressive platform than the programme he was putting into place. Went to some museums in the afternoon, Natural History, Air and Space and nipped in to the National Art Gallery, where Liam wandered around asking quite aggressively 'where the fucking Mozarts' were. No hint of irony. Regrouped opposite the Capitol.
And so, the week drew to an end. We journeyed to the airport, exhausted but fulfilled. Cracked a few jokes, got a cavity search. Got on a plane, plane landed, got driven home on a coach.
I'd say that was that..but there's so much that I can't even begin to explain. An incredible week.
Kool and the gang.
Not forgetting:
If you want to see a more detailed version of this blog, or have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me, because there are some things which are too illegal to share on the 'internet.'
ps. There was a proper fit bird. Nice.
Sunday, what a day. National Holocaust Museum in the morning. Very harrowing. In the afternoon we visited the Potomac Mills shopping mall, affectionately known as a shit hole. Still, bought a few more bits of clothing and ate McDonalds. In the evening we went to the Capital City Brewing Company, where we presented Dave, our beloved teacher and leader, a book on Lenin to rapturous applause. I made a speech that reduced several people to tears.
Monday morning, we visited and heard a speech from the Democratic National Committee (also known as the 'we love Obama whatever he does even if that is nothing' Committee). They got a bit shirty after a few students, myself included, lampooned Obama for running on a much more progressive platform than the programme he was putting into place. Went to some museums in the afternoon, Natural History, Air and Space and nipped in to the National Art Gallery, where Liam wandered around asking quite aggressively 'where the fucking Mozarts' were. No hint of irony. Regrouped opposite the Capitol.
And so, the week drew to an end. We journeyed to the airport, exhausted but fulfilled. Cracked a few jokes, got a cavity search. Got on a plane, plane landed, got driven home on a coach.
I'd say that was that..but there's so much that I can't even begin to explain. An incredible week.
Kool and the gang.
Not forgetting:
- Knackers
- Harry Brown
- Constant penis exposure
- The smack head on the Metro
- The 'we're' gonna have a vote' man in the Senate
- The cool guy in the lift when we met Bernie
- The constant security checks
- Breakfast
- So much more..
If you want to see a more detailed version of this blog, or have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me, because there are some things which are too illegal to share on the 'internet.'
ps. There was a proper fit bird. Nice.
